Beneath Myself
by Possessed by Degrassi
Summary: CH.13 UP Ellie is the tough, i don't care kind of girl, but when someone she loves hurts her, she turns to someone for help and comfort, and maybe love, maybe not......
1. Holding Back

Beneath Myself  
  
Ellie, one to have stresses in her life, was in her bed crying until she cried blood. Ellie fought hard to not cut herself, to not scar herself. From downstairs she could hear her mom yelling into the phone about money problems. Ellie wiped her tears away and took in a deep breath and went downstairs.  
  
"Mom, what's going on?" Ellie's mother quickly hung up the phone and quickly walked to her daughter, " What are you doing down here? You are supposed to be in bed, tomorrow, you have school! Go to bed now!" Ellie's mother pushed Ellie to go back to bed.  
  
The morning after, Ellie woke up and got dressed for school, and hoping that her mother was asleep. Ellie saw crack, cocaine, marijuana, and vodka all over the floor in the living room. Ellie shook her head in disagreement with her mother's choice of food and beverage.  
  
Ellie walked into her class with a depressed sad look. Paige sat down beside her, "Hi hun, are you still mad at me for putting you into counseling?" Ellie gave off a fake little smile, "No, I'm kinda glad that ya helped me. Thanks." "Anytime sweet potato." Paige stood up and gave Spinner a hug before class had begun. Ellie just turned her head in sadness and feeling alone.  
  
Ellie sat down in front of her locker waiting for Ms.Sauve. Sean slowly sat down beside Ellie, "So how are you?" "Fine." "So why are you waiting here?" "I have counseling." "Why?" "To stop cutting myself." "Oh, so do you wanna be a bad ass and ditch this?" Ellie let out a small laugh, "ok."  
  
Ellie grabbed her stuff and left Degrassi Community School and onto The Dot Grill.  
  
Sean sitting close to Ellie and holding her hand, Ellie starts to confide in him, ".so my life has a lot of stress. Especially since my dad left. I couldn't take it anymore, so that why I started cutting myself, see, I have the scars to prove it." Ellie lifted her sleeve to show Sean. Sean places a finger and gently touched the cuts, "Man, that looks brutal."  
  
Sean gives Ellie a hug in comfort, but Ellie doesn't return it, she just stares down at herself. Sean moves away slowly and lifts Ellie's chin up and stares into her eyes deeply, "When ever you feel like talking, come to me and not the school guidance counselor." "I'll try to remember that." Just then Emma passes Ellie and Sean with Chris. 


	2. Feeling Helpless

~ Hey sorry for the short chapters, but they will get longer as the story continues. Please read and review this story so I know how to improve this story and the others (maybe). So just hang in there and the PG-13 is for later chapters. ~ LiL SnoopY  
  
Ch.2  
  
Sean watch curiously as Emma and Chris walked by holding hands. Ellie looked from Sean to Emma, "Do you still like her?" Sean quickly turned is head and gasped, "Of course not, she moved on and I'm moving on right now." Sean leaned in to kiss Ellie. Ellie put her hands up to hold Sean back, "I'm not gong be part of this if it is just to get back at Emma." "I'm sorry. Say Ellie, why not I pick you up tonight. I know where there is gonna be a banging party tonight." "Ok."  
  
Sean stood up and left The Dot Grill. Ellie saw that Emma and Chris walked up and sat with her. Emma sat next to Ellie of course, "So why were you with Sean?" "It's a free country, I can hang with who ever I want. And I don't want to hang out with you Emma Nelson." Ellie stood up and started to leave just as Emma pulled Elli's wrist to stay, "I want to talk."  
  
Ellie looked at Emma's pleading eyes, then at Chris's sly smile, "Fine."  
  
Emma turned to Ellie looking serious, "I want to know the deal with Sean." "Well he told me he's over you. And I should be going, I'm meeting him for a party tonight."  
  
Just as Ellie left Emma turned to Chris, "Do you think Sean likes Ellie?"  
  
Ellie opened the door to home and saw her mother handing over $200 to a man in a suit. The mother walked the man to the door, "Pleasure doing business with you." Her mother closed the door with a smile on her face. As soon as the door was closed, she stared at Ellie with out saying anything.  
  
Ellie started to get nervous, "So. who was that?" "I just owed some money, that all. Nothing to worry about." Ellie looked around the living room and saw a big box, "So what's in there?" "Nothing! *Ahem* I mean nothing. Why don't you go to bed now?" Ellie headed up to her room just as the phone rang.  
  
Ellie rang to pick it up, but picked it up the same exact time her mom did. Ellie could hear whispers on the phone.  
  
"So Mrs. Nash, I regret saying that you still owe about $75 for all the Ecstasy that you bought that you promised to pay back." Ellie listened intently. "Of course I am going to pay you back. I promised didn't I?" "Someone word is not enough. I will be coming over to pick up what you owe." With that, the man hung up.  
  
Ellie hung up the phone as she heard her mothers' footsteps. Ellie's mother opened the door, "Ellie dear, do you have any money? I'm feeling kind of hungry; I want to go pick up some food." "How much?" "About $75." "That sure is a lot for food don't you think?" "Well, I'm also going to buy a present for a friend that is coming over in a few minutes. So just give me the money right now!"  
  
Elli's mother snatched the money out of her daughters' hand and slammed the door. Ellie could hear her mother and the man talking, "Thank you Mrs. Nash, I guess you are to your word."  
  
Ellie felt herself feeling tense. Just then she hears tapping on her window. Ellie sneaks out her window and goes over and sees Sean in his Eminem wanna be look.  
  
"So Ellie, you look sad. What's up?" "I just found out that my mother spent $75 just on Ecstasy and I can't do anything about it. How would you feel?" "I don't know, but." "But what?" "Ecstasy is a hard drug, are you sure you want to leave your mom?" "Yes. She can be very abusive when she gets stoned." 


	3. Tremble

~Ok, here is chapter three; I hope that you enjoy it. Please read and review. Thanks. ~  
LiL SnoopY  
  
CH.3  
  
Ellie and Sean have reached the house, and they can see blinking lights through the windows.  
  
As Sean and Ellie walked in, one of Sean's' buds came up and handed Sean a full bottle of beer. Ellie looked around the house, she saw cigarette smoke everywhere, people making out on the couches, others doing drugs, and she swore she could hear people upstairs banging.  
  
Ellie turned to Sean who was half way done with his beer, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Sean nodded while holding the bottle to his mouth.  
  
Ellie reached the upstairs a pulled out a small sewing pin from her pocket. She slowly lifted her sleeve and saw that most of her past cut scars was healing. She suddenly just felt the urge to relieve herself from the stress her mother placed on her shoulders.  
  
Ellie had the sharp needle up to her skin, but someone opened the door fast. A couple, making out, went into the bathroom and closed the door behind them. They seemed that they didn't noticed Ellie was in there. Ellie faced the mirror as the 17 looking year old man started ripping off the girls' shirt. Ellie pushed them out of the way and ran down to Sean.  
  
She saw Sean sitting on the couch with 3 older girls sitting beside, or on him. Ellie took a seat in the corner. Sitting alone she was thinking about how her mother was doing. Ellie quickly stood up and headed for the back door, followed by Sean.  
  
"Ellie!" Sean yelled from behind, "Where are you going, we just got here?" Ellie turned around to face Sean with watering eyes, "I want to stay, but I am just too worried about my mother, I can't just leave her there. I shouldn't have ever left her." "Alright, that's cool. I guess I'll see you later then?" "Of course." Ellie continued her way home.  
  
From the shadows of the trees, she heard a voice call her name. Ellie stopped in her tracks and turned to see who it was, "hello?"  
  
"Eleanor. What are you doing out at this time of night?" Ellie instantly recognized the voice, "I'm sorry, I was coming straight home, I promise." "And where did you go?" "I went to a party with a friend, but I decided to come home because I was worried about you. Mom, I know what's going on." "Nothing is going on my dear." "I heard your conversation on the phone. You owed someone money because of all the god damn drugs you're buying!" Ellie started yelling and crying at the same time.  
  
Ellie's mother walked up towards Ellie that the moonlight showed her face. Ellie started to tremble in fear. The mother pulled out a knife, "This may rid you of your suspicions." Ellie gasped as she saw her mothers' wicked eyes, "the drugs are doing this to you." In an instant, blood poured onto the grass in the backyard of one of their neighbors' house.  
  
11 hours later, Ellie awoke and found herself in a hospital bed. She jolted up and a nurse held her down, "it's going to be alright, you just had a little accident last night." Ellie started to panic, "What happened? Why am I in here?" "Calm down. It seems that your mother was under the influence of Ecstasy, and she stabbed you last night, only once thank goodness. And it wasn't in a critical area. So you're going to be alright."  
  
"What going to happen to my mother? Was she caught?" "Yes, your mother is in custody of the police right now. From the looks of it, you may be taken away from your mother and your father will have full custody over you." "But last night was an accident, I know she didn't mean it." "I know you love your mother, but what ever is going to happen is for the safety of you. So I want you to get some rest, since you did just wake up after your surgery."  
  
Ellie relaxed and inhaled slowly. The closed her eyes and forgot all that happened last night.  
  
R&R~Thanks 


	4. Hate

CH.4  
  
Two days later Ellie finally woke up, but she wasn't in the hospital, she was. on the couch at Sean's house. Sean was lying on the floor near Ellie. Ellie inhaled deeply. Tracker came into the living room with some mashed potatoes, "So you woke up. How you feeling?" Ellie looked around, "I don't know, I have a slight pain in my stomach." "Probably you need something to eat." "And maybe that's where I got stabbed." Tracker smiled at Ellie's smart-alecky remark.  
  
Tracker set the bowl of mashed potatoes on Ellie's nap and left her in peace.  
  
Sean woke up and sat next to Ellie, "Sorry." "For what?" "Letting you walk home by yourself while I hang out with other girls older then me." "Sean, it wasn't your fault, it was mine. And why am I at your place?" "Your gonna stay here until your dad comes to pick you up, which will be about 3 days."  
  
Ellie looked down at the bowl of mashed potatoes, "Thank you for taking me in, and," she looked up at Sean, "for your kindness. I think I really need it right now."  
  
This time Ellie was the one to lean towards Sean, she wanted to kiss him so bad, and she feels as though she loved him. But Tracker came in and interrupted, "I forgot to give you the gravy." Ellie pulled away from and accepted the gravy from tracker. Sean just laughed as Ellie looked down at the deformed, unmashed potatoes.  
  
An hour later, Ellie was already walking around, but being careful for nothing to hit her stomach where she had her surgery done.  
  
Sean and Ellie were headed to go to Craig's.  
  
Sean opened the garage door and saw Craig having sex with Manny. Craig jumped up in surprised and exposed Manny's body to Sean, but she didn't seem to care, "Hello Sean, come to join?" Sean shook his head and led Ellie into the garage. Manny quickly pulled the covers over herself.  
  
Ellie walked up to Craig, "I can't believe that you chose Manny, the slut, over Ashley! You know the only reason you chose Manny was because you needed a sex partner and Ashley wasn't satisfying your lust!" Ellie slapped Craig as Sean pulled Ellie away.  
  
Craig took a deep breath, "So, why are you guys here? I was kinda busy."  
  
"Yea, Craig, we all saw!" Ellie blurted out.  
  
Sean cut in, "I just wanted to see what you were up to, because I was hoping that maybe we could go to the movies. I guess not."  
  
Manny got dressed under the covers and stepped up to Ellie, "I think you should leave, because we're busy." Manny looked at Seam, "You two overstayed your visit."  
  
Sean took Ellie's hand and walked over to the park.  
  
"Sean, are you like Craig? Will you ever cheat on someone?" "Well, Ellie, to tell you the truth, I think I would." Ellie nodded, feeling disappointed.  
  
Sean wrapped his arms around Ellie to keep her warm. But from the corner of his eye he saw Emma and Chris sitting on the park bench kissing, "Fuck, is she stalking me or something?"  
  
Ellie slouched and looked at Sean who was staring at Emma.  
  
Ellie leaned over and started kissing Sean. Sean slowly laid Ellie down on the grass still kissing her. Sean moved from her lips to her neck. Sean stopped for one second and saw that Emma and Chris walked away.  
  
Sean looked down at Ellie who was in his arms, "Thanks. I love revenge." "I didn't do it for you. I did it for me." Sean continued to stare at Ellie.  
  
R&R~Thanks 


	5. Leaving Mom

~Hey! This chapter might be alittle boring to you, I don't know. It was hard for me to think up of some things, but here is the result. Hope that you enjoy this chap.! Laterz. ~  
LiL SnoopY  
  
Ch.5  
  
Sean helped Ellie up, "So, what do you wanna do? Tracker said that I should stay with you until your dad comes by."  
  
"I don't know. How about we just, get out of here."  
  
"Like run away?" Sean had a surprised look on his face. "Yea, like being a bad ass and ditching this place." Ellie laughed as Sean formed a smile on his face.  
  
"Ok." Sean said. Ellie looked at Sean with a wide smile, "Serious?" Ellie gave Sean a hug then stood up, "I guess I should sneak into my room and get some stuff." "Alright, meet you back here." "Ok."  
  
Ellie opened the window to her room and heard nothing through out the house. She took a deep breath and found her school bag and started to pack the things she needs.  
  
Ellie put some tampons, extra money, 2 pairs of clothes, her ID card, and a picture of her and her father.  
  
Ellie crept down the stairs down to the kitchen to pack some food. As Ellie opened a cabinet, she heard a mumble. She turned to see her mother sleeping on the couch. Ellie started to sweat and panic. She just pulled out a bag of chips and Oreo cookies. She stuffed them into her bag and tip toed back to her room.  
  
Ellie was right out the window and she saw her mother come into her room. Ellie squinted her eyes to see what she was doing.  
  
Ellie's mother lied down in Ellie's bed and started to cry. Ellie's eyes started to form tears, but she knew that running away would do her some good.  
  
Sean and Ellie met up at the park. She saw Sean carrying more stuff then she, "Sean, I don't think I can do this." "Why not? What's up El?" Ellie smiled at the sound that he already gave her a nickname.  
  
"It's my mom, I can't leave her. Even though she hurt me, doesn't mean I have the right to hurt her. I know she's sorry for what she did. And this time, I think she is gonna quit doing drug, for good.  
  
"But, El that's not a sure thing. And I don't want to see you hurt."  
  
"I appreciate you caring for me, but I can't help the way I feel."  
  
For about 2 minutes they just stood there in silence looking at each other as though they were talking telepathically.  
  
Sean finally broke the silence, "Ok. Then I guess we better head back to my house." Sean took Ellie's bag and headed home.  
  
At his house they saw Tracker eating some cereal, "Hey guys, what's with the bags? Planning an escape?" Sean has a disappointed serious look on his face, "That was the plan." Tracker dropped his spoon, "Ellie, will you excuse us for a moment." "Sure." Ellie stepped outside.  
  
She could here Trackers' yelling through the walls. Just then Emma appears under the dim lighting.  
  
Ellie stood up, "What are you doing here? I doubt Sean wants to see you."  
  
"For your information, I'm not here to see Sean. I'm here to see you. Besides, where is Sean?"  
  
"Inside, he got in trouble with tracker, and it's partially my fault."  
  
"Sorry to hear that. I just came here to tell you that."  
  
Sean opened the door and appeared behind Ellie, "Emma, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Just came to tell Ellie something. But I can see that it can wait. I'll talk to you later." Emma disappeared into the darkness of the night.  
  
Sean stood behind Ellie, "So what did little Ms.Princess want?" "I don't know, just came to talk to me."  
  
"Oh. Well, hey we should go inside."  
  
"Sean, let's do it."  
  
Sean stared at Ellie who was just staring straight ahead. He gave off a small laugh, "Do it?"  
  
"Yea, run away."  
  
"Sweet, alright, I'll get our things." Sean ran back inside, avoiding Tracker and grabbed the bags. He ran back outside and tossed Ellie's bag to her, "We better hurry up and get out of here before Tracker finds out we're gone."  
  
Ellie agreed and they both set off into the night.  
  
~R&R. was that long. or short? ~ 


	6. Relaxed for Once

~Remember to review when done reading. Thanks! ~  
LiL SnoopY  
  
CH.6  
  
It was the next day and the sun was rising. Ellie and Sean have walked for about 9 hours, resting every now and then of course.  
  
Ellie sat down in one of the fields of Michigan and watched the sun rise, "I have never seen a sun rise. I feel so relaxed." Sean sat down beside her, "Yea, it's alright."  
  
Ellie looked at Sean, "Are you hungry? All I have is bread and some Oreo cookies." "Nah, I'm cool." Sean continued to stare at the sunset, "I wonder what is going on back home. I bet Tracker is freaking out right now." Ellie laughed at the thought.  
  
"Sean, what will happen when my dad comes to your place and finds I'm not there?"  
  
"Well most likely your dad and Tracker will call the police for a search team to come and find us."  
  
"I don't want him to worry." Ellie took out a piece of paper and wrote a note to her father. She left the note by the road hoping her father or the search team will find it.  
  
By this time, Sean and Ellie reached a somewhat large town in Michigan called Kalamazoo.  
  
They found a deserted barn and decided to stay there. Ellie dropped down on some hay and felt right to sleep.  
  
Sean turned as soon as he heard the thud against the wooden floor. He lied beside her and stoked her face until he fell asleep.  
  
2 hours later, Ellie woke up and saw Sean sleeping beside her. She shook him awake. Sean opened his eyes and lunged at Ellie to give her kiss, a passionate one in fact.  
  
As soon as they parted Ellie looked into his eyes, "What was that for?"  
  
Sean began to blush a little, "I don't know, just being here with you excites me."  
  
Ellie laughed at the thought, "Oh ok." She stood up and continued to laugh. Sean stood up and pulled her closer and started kissing her.  
  
Ellie kissed him back. Soon they were both lying down on the hay with the passion rising with every second.  
  
~hint hint~ ^^  
  
An hour later she awoke and put her clothes back on and headed out for some fresh air.  
  
It was getting dark and Ellie could see some neon lights coming from an alley not very far away. She decided to go check it out.  
  
While Ellie was off Sean jerked up from an abrupt sound coming from outside, as though something hit the barn wall.  
  
Sean opened the door and a male pinning a young looking girl up against the wall kissing her lips and her neck.  
  
~It felt long when I was writing it. I wanted to leave it at a cliffhanger, well somewhat of one, for you to guess and wonder who these peeps are. I bet you'll never guess. Ehehehehe! Anyways, review please! ~ LiL SnoopY 


	7. Silent Cry

CH.7  
  
Sean saw the tall man rip off the young girls' shirt. Sean came up and punches the guy, "What do you think you're doing?!"  
  
The man got up and was found to be a teenager in his 17's. He walked up to Sean, "I'm just doing what guys do." The teenager was a very fine guy with blonde, spiked hair. He wore all black and a lip, and eyebrow piecing.  
  
The teenager punched Sean HARD in the stomach that made him fall to the ground in pain, but in no time he was standing up ready to fight.  
  
A familiar voice shouted stop and the teenager steeped away.  
  
Sean turned to see that it was and saw Manny, half naked. He handed her his jean jacket, "Manny what are you doing here?"  
  
"I should be asking you the same question."  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"Just some guy I picked up."  
  
"What happened to Craig?"  
  
"Oh Craig." Tears started to well up in her eyes, "I caught him with Ashley, seems like Ellie was right. He said that I was just his play toy. Sean, do you know how much that hurts? No. You don't." Manny paused to try to stop the tears, "Sean, I love Craig, and I thought he felt the same way. I forgave him after that lie he told me. I poured my heart out to him once more. And he broke it. again. I mean I had Craig's baby and he still shut me out!"  
  
Sean gave Manny hug, "I sorry."  
  
Manny pushed him away, "No you're not. I bet you're glad to see me like this. You know what, just say it."  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"Say that I deserved it, that's what everyone else has been saying. That's why I decided to run away. That guy that I started making love too, he was just guy, I don't know him or his name."  
  
Sean comforted Manny, "Manny, I don't think no one deserves to feel pain like that."  
  
Manny slowly backed away. Taking off the jacket and dropping it to the ground, she was now kissing Sean.  
  
Sean backed away.  
  
Manny now had a small smile on her face, "It's alright Sean. I know we both want this." Sean accepted Manny's embrace. He kissed her back. Manny's tears were now drying up and were no more.  
  
The whole time Ellie was standing behind them watching the whole thing. She rolled her eyes and left them in peace.  
  
Ellie found a quiet river and sat at the edge with her bag in her lap. I don't know why I felt as though I can trust him. I'm so stupid. I should have known that he couldn't be sincere. Ellie sat alone crying in the dark.  
  
She found an aluminum can floating near the edge in the river. She picked it up and tore it open. She stared at the sharp edge as it was shining in the moonlight.  
  
She placed it against her neck and made a slight slit that made her pass out and fall into the river.  
  
~  
  
Craig fed Ashley some apple pie that he baked. Ashley laughed, "I'm so glad we're back together." Craig gave her a kiss on the lips, "I love you." Ashley's smile got wider, "I lo." Ashley quickly stood up and backed away.  
  
Craig stood up too, "What's wrong Ash?"  
  
"Oh my God!" Ashley ran towards the river to see the floating body. "Craig! It's Ellie! Call her father!"  
  
~ What do you think? Review and tell me. ~ LiL SnoopY 


	8. Relief at Last

CH.8  
  
Ellie felt s sharp pain in her arm as she jolted awake. She also felt a rush of warmth before she could come to her senses. The world became unburied and she saw that she was in her fathers' arms.  
  
"Oh Eleanor, when they called me that you were found floating in a river, I just. I don't know what I did. I can't believe that I ever thought the worst."  
  
Ellie started to feel safe just hearing her fathers voice, "I missed you dad." She cried as she hugged her father back.  
  
The nurse came into the room and rubbed Mr. Nash's back in comfort, "She'll be fine. The cut on her throat wasn't deep enough to kill herself, which is a very good thing."  
  
Mr. Nash backed away to looked into his daughters watering eyes.  
  
The nurse continued, "Ellie, a lot of people care for you. You have been asleep for only about 4 hours and you have already gotten flowers, cards, and candy. You're lucky you didn't die."  
  
Ellie looked around the hospital room and saw that it was flooded with get well flowers, candy, cards, and balloons. Ellie looked down at her hands, "I'm so stupid for even trying to do something like that."  
  
Ellie's dad kissed her forehead, "Just promise that you never do anything like that again."  
  
"Ok."  
  
There came a small knock on the door and Mrs. Nash came in. "Honey, can me and Eleanor talk for a bit?"  
  
"Sure." Mr. Nash walked out leaving them to it.  
  
Ellie's mother stepped up beside the bed, "I'm sorry. I love you honey, and I had a wake-up call. So I'm getting help on trying to stop my addiction problems. So, if you would let me, I want you to come back home."  
  
"Of course mom, as long as you promise."  
  
Ellie's mother wasted no time in giving her daughter a hug. Ellie's tears started again.  
  
Her mother parted from her daughter, "I have to be going."  
  
"Where are you going? You just got hear." Ellie asked as she wiped her tears away with the blanket.  
  
"I have to go to court for a bit. Your father and I are having a divorce, and he pressed some charges for what I've done. But don't worry, I'll be fine."  
  
Ellie rolled her eyes and nodded.  
  
A few seconds later Ashley came into the room, "How you feeling? I was so afraid when I saw you in the river. Talk about adrenalin rush."  
  
Ellie laughed, "Sorry that I scared you. It's just."  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"I was just so mad, like, I don't know why I tried to commit suicide."  
  
Ashley looked around the room trying to avoid the subject, "Well good news, me and Craig are back on."  
  
"So I heard."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yea, I over heard Manny talking to Sean."  
  
"Manny? Sean?"  
  
"Yea, turns out Manny was really disappointed and wanted a cheap feel."  
  
Ashley laughed, "Nice way of putting that. So. did you try any of your candy? You have enough here to take a bath in." Ashley said grabbing a box.  
  
Ellie gave off a half smile, "I wonder how long I'm gonna have to stay in this place."  
  
Ashley gave Ellie a hug, "Oh El, you're my best friend, never try to pull anything like that again."  
  
"Seriously Ash, I'm fine."  
  
"Ok, then I guess I'll leave you to it. Bye." Ashley showed Ellie her caring smile and left with a waving hand.  
  
Ellie looked around the poorly decorate room and lied down on the bed trying to get some rest. But of course, those beds are hard as a rock and very uncomfortable.  
  
A doctor came in, "So Ms. Nash, how's your neck?"  
  
Ellie touched her neck and felt gauze, "I'm fine."  
  
"That's good to hear." The doctor placed a clipboard at the end on the bed and headed out the door.  
  
"Doctor!" Ellie shouted.  
  
"Yes Ms. Nash?"  
  
"How long will I have to stay in here?"  
  
"Well, once your parents get done with their court situation, your dad will come and pick you up."  
  
"But I'm staying with my mom."  
  
"Only when your dad goes off to work. But other then that, you'll be living with your dad. He told me that he bought a whole new house."  
  
"Wonderful. Ok. Thanks."  
  
A doctor smiled and continued on his way.  
  
~Okay guys, review, and be nice. ^^ LiL SnoopY  
  
And I only have like 2 or more chaps left to write, so the story will be over soon. Just yall know. Alright, see-ya!! 


	9. Stay Away

CH.9  
  
Ellie tried to get some sleep while waiting for her parents. Finally her dad came, "Ready to go home?"  
  
Ellie smiled, "Yes."  
  
One of the doctors replaced the gauze on her neck before Ellie exited the room.  
  
*~*  
  
Ellie listened to the radio playing in car, "Dad, where's mom?"  
  
"Well since I pressed charges on her, the worst I asked for was a night in prison."  
  
Ellie nodded in understanding.  
  
"So that means, you get to see the new house that I bought for just the two of us."  
  
"Really? Just you and me?" Ellie said sounding really excited.  
  
"Yep." Her dad leaned over and kissed her forehead while concentrating on the road ahead.  
  
They pulled into the driveway. Ellie noticed that it was only 2 houses down from where Ashley lives, "Dad, this place is perfect. Ellie jumped out of the car and waited on the doorstep and her father unlocked the door to their home.  
  
"Ellie, you have a choice to make."  
  
"Ok?"  
  
"When I have to leave, you can whether go to your mother's, or your Grandmother will come here and watch over you. So what will it be?"  
  
Ellie's mind went blank. She was still a little afraid of being with her mother, but then again she didn't want to hurt her mother. "Dad, I'm gonna have to think about this."  
  
"Well make sure you think fast, I'll have to be leaving in a week."  
  
"A week? Why so soon?"  
  
"It's my job. Now your room is down the hall, sleep tight pumpkin."  
  
Ellie walked down the hall and saw a small room with all new furniture. She plopped down on the bed and looked around the cold and dreary room.  
  
*~*  
  
At the sound of the phone she quickly woke up to answer it. "Hello?"  
  
"Ellie, hey it's Sean."  
  
"Why are you calling? And how did you get this number?"  
  
"I wanted to call because Ashley came over and gave me some lecture, I didn't even understand half of what she said."  
  
"Shouldn't you be calling another person right now? Cause if ya haven't noticed, I'm fine."  
  
"El, what wrong? I just called to ask why you left so soon."  
  
Ellie's voice started to rise, "Sean! I left because of you and Manny, I opened up to you, something I can't even do with my own dad." Ellie hung up the phone and felt relief spread through her body.  
  
She happily walked down the hall, "Dad, is it alright if I go to Ash's?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Ellie got dressed and walked to Ashley's; she looked at the house and continued on until she reached her old home.  
  
Ellie knocked on the door and her mother opened it.  
  
"Ellie, what a surprise, come in."  
  
*~*  
  
"So does your father know that you are here?"  
  
"Not exactly. But..." Ellie looked down at the floor, "This is kind of hard for me to ask."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"If I chose not to come stay at your house while dad's away, will you be mad?"  
  
Ellie's mother was in shock, but she took a deep breath trying to hold her emotions bottled inside of her, "El hun, whatever will make you happy, will make me happy."  
  
Ellie slouched and rested her back on the couch, "I'm so relieved."  
  
"So you don't want to come over here?"  
  
"I just think it's best that. that I stay away from you for a while, or until you get better." Ellie stood up, "So I guess I should head home."  
  
Ellie's mother too stood up, "She gave her daughter a hug, "I hope to see you soon, you know where I am." She watched her daughter walked away until she was out of sight.  
  
On her way home she felt someone wrap his or her arms around her waist. She turned around, "Figures." She shoved Sean's arms off of her.  
  
Sean stopped in his tracks, "Ellie I'm sorry. You should have known that me and you, that's not an easy match."  
  
"I realize that now. We're two completely different people. And that's that!"  
  
"I guess so. Well then I'll be going to Manny's." Sean spit on the ground as he kept his eye on Ellie.  
  
Ellie stopped in her tracks and turned and headed to Sean, "Manny's?! Sean, you will never understand how to show affection. You know, we both hate Manny, I don't know why YOU keep chasing after her. Your just her rebound."  
  
Sean lifted his fist, really wanting to give Ellie one good hit. But he just couldn't, "Ellie. I really want to be mad at you for saying that!"  
  
"Then go ahead!"  
  
"I can't!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I know you're right.."  
  
Ellie smiled, "Just stay away from her, that's all." Ellie turned back around heading home. "And also stay away from me."  
  
Sean sat at the edge of the road and put his head in his hands, frustrated.  
  
~~~ Please review this chapter. Thanks! I hope that you understand the settings and all while you were reading. It jumped from Ellie sitting on her bed to the morning, and she's answering the phone. And from her mother answer the door, to the living room sitting down. I hope that you got that.  
  
LiL SnoopY 


	10. Expect the Expected

I want to say that this chapter was based on an idea that Unwanted Souless Freak gave me. I wasn't thinking about that, but well anyway thanks! Yall enjoy the chapter.  
LiL SnoopY  
  
CH.10  
  
Ellie walked into her home and saw her dad sitting down on the couch looking a bit angry, "Dad?" He lifted his head in a smile, "Yeah?" "I chose, and I want Grandmother to come." "You're mother told me." "You talked to her?" "She said you paid her a visit"  
  
"I didn't think it would matter if I talked to her."  
  
"But honey, you said you were going over to Ashley's house. You didn't have to lie."  
  
"I know." Ellie went and sat next to her dad, "It's just that if I told you where I was going then." Ellie got up and ran to the bathroom closing the door.  
  
Her dad chased after her knocking on the bathroom door, "Ellie hun, are you alright?" He could hear her vomiting up her whole stomach.  
  
Ellie stared into the toilet bowl and touching her stomach, "this can't be." Ellie whispered under her breath.  
  
15 minutes later she walked out of the bathroom, she saw her father laying against the wall across the bathroom door, "Dad, I'm fine, it must be stress."  
  
He stood up and gave her a pat on the back, "well go rest and I'll make you some soup." Ellie smiled, "You're gonna make me some food? That's sounds so great. But can I go to Ashley's, and this time for real?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
*~*  
  
"Hi Ellie, pleasant surprise. Come in." Ashley greeted.  
  
Ashley led Ellie to the living room, "What brings you?"  
  
I have something serious to ask you."  
  
Ashley tried to keep a straight face, "What's up?"  
  
"Well, have you and Craig ever had. sex?"  
  
"No. Ever since the whole him and Manny situation, I have been having trouble trusting him. But I think that we may in the future. Why do you ask?"  
  
"No reason. Ok, well I should go then. Don't want my dad to worry."  
  
"Alright. Hope to see you again."  
  
"I live right down the road, of course you will."  
  
*~*  
  
Ellie, confused of why, found herself in front of Manny's house. Ellie rang the doorbell. She heard yelling and screaming as someone opened the door. Ellie guessed it was Manny's mother, "Who the hell are you and what do you want?"  
  
"I was hoping to see Manny. Is she here?"  
  
"That little slut-of-a-daughter is probably getting herself pregnant again."  
  
"So she's not here?"  
  
"No!" The mother shut the door and continued to yell while wondering through the house.  
  
Ellie turned around and saw Manny about 30 feet away from her house looking sad. Ellie walked up to her, "Hi Manny."  
  
"Ellie, what are you doing at my house? Come to give me another lecture about how much I hurt Ashley. You know what, I don't care."  
  
Ellie rolled her eyes, "Actually no, I came to talk to you about something serious. I'm scared and I don't know where to turn."  
  
"Why turn to me?"  
  
"Because you have dealt with what I may be going through."  
  
Manny sighed deeply, "Follow me then."  
  
Manny led Ellie into her house and up to Manny's room. Ellie could see like over a billion 50 Cent posters hanging on her walls. Ellie saw Manny reach for a box in her dresser, "Is this what you need?"  
  
Ellie looked down at Manny's hand and saw a box that said Accurate Pregnancy Test. Ellie looked back at Manny and said in a low tone, "how did you find out?"  
  
Manny laughed, "That's the only thing that I know of that you don't." Manny took it out of the box and handed it to Ellie, "Here, you have to take a sample of your urinate, wait a bit, and then find out."  
  
"Manny, I know about you and Craig and how Sean found you. Then you guys got together."  
  
"Oh that. Sean's cool, but not for me."  
  
Ellie looked back down at the box, "So what's up with your mom?"  
  
"She's strict, and totally hates me now that I 'changed my wardrobe'."  
  
"What about your dad?"  
  
"I love my dad, but it just wasn't working out between him and my mom. So now I live with my mom because my dad was just, to selfish to care for anyone besides himself."  
  
"Ouch. Sorry."  
  
"I deal. And Ellie, how will you break the news to Sean?"  
  
"I don't know. Worst is, I don't know how to tell my dad."  
  
"Have an abortion, since it's early. It will be quick and easy."  
  
"You mean kill the baby? No way."  
  
"Fine, have the baby and Happy Mother's Day."  
  
Manuela Santos, get your ass down here! You have a baby to feed!"  
  
Manny looked at Ellie, "You should go, I'm busy." *~* Ellie, sitting down on her bed, waiting and waiting to see what the result is. Please, please not let it be what I think.  
  
Ellie fell a sleep on her bed waiting. Her father slowly opened the door to Ellie's room and saw her sleeping at 4 in the afternoon. Poor kid might not be feeling good. He tucked her into bed.  
  
He walked into the bathroom to turn the light off. He then saw the pregnancy test sitting on the sink counter. He picked up the test strip. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He put the testing strip back down and kept the light on.  
  
*~*  
  
Ellie stepped into the bathroom to release more that was kept in her stomach. She picked up the test strip, and it showed positive. She dropped to the ground crying. Leaning against the bathroom wall and hugging her legs, she felt fear spread through her body.  
  
****$**** Review Please! Thanks! 


	11. Abortion

CH.11  
  
By the next day Ellie got the nerve to step out of the bathroom and confront her father. She walked into the living room and saw him in the kitchen eating some eggs. "Morning dad." She sat down next to him and started to cry. He turned to face her.  
  
"What's with the long face pumpkin?"  
  
"Dad, I'm pregnant, and don't know what to do."  
  
"P.Pregnant?"  
  
"Yeah, and I'm freaking out because I know I'm still young."  
  
"How about I take you to the doctors tomorrow. Will that make you feel better?"  
  
"A lot better. Thanks."  
  
"Oh Ellie dear!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"The police found a note that you wrote to me, thank you."  
  
Ellie just smiled back. Feeling tons better now that her dad knows about the pregnancy, Ellie got dressed and headed out the door.  
  
*~*  
  
Sitting on the porch of the Cameron's house, she saw a motorcycle pull up. Sean jumped off followed by Tracker. Sean glanced at Tracker from the corner of his eye, "We need to talk alone."  
  
"Ok. You guys behave now. And don't run away again."  
  
Tracker stepped inside.  
  
Ellie stood up to face Sean, "I have to tell you something that is rather. shocking."  
  
"I know about the baby. Manny told me."  
  
"What Manny told you? How could she have known?"  
  
"It's her baby, I think she has the right to know."  
  
"Her baby? Sean, I'm talking about mine."  
  
"What!"  
  
"So Manny is having another baby! And I'm having a baby! And you're the father to both! Sean I can't believe you got us, BOTH of us pregnant! What are we going to do?" Because I don't know what to do."  
  
Sean grabbed Ellie, and she just cried on his shoulder, "I'll think of something. You can always abort it."  
  
Ellie pushed Sean away, "Sean, aborting is wrong. I am not about to become a murderer!" Ellie ran away and out of sight.  
  
*~*  
  
Ellie turned a corner and ran into Paige.  
  
Ellie wiped herself as she stood up and helped Paige up, "I'm so sorry, I was just in a hurry."  
  
"A hurry to where hun? Frankly, I'm worried about you. I know I haven't been there ever since your return from the watery grave, but I'm here now, and I want to talk to you." Paige grabbed Ellie's sleeve and they walked to The Dot Grill and sat down.  
  
Paige sat across from Ellie with a serous look on her face, "So what's on your mind? I know something is bothering you."  
  
"Nothing. I'm just confused about things."  
  
"No doubt about that hun. Come on; tell me what's up. If you want help, you have to talk."  
  
Ellie sighed, "Me and Sean. hooked up, I mean really hooked up when we ran away together."  
  
"And now you're pregnant?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Well my brother got one of his girlfriends pregnant, the girl was totally excited because she loved my brother, but the thing was he was gay and didn't love her. So she gave birth to the baby and the baby has my brother's eyes. She totally regrets the baby not having a father. So now she wishes that she aborted it. Sad huh?"  
  
"And how does that relate to me?"  
  
"Probably you should just abort the baby, because if Sean was the father of my baby, I wouldn't even give the abortion a second thought and just do it."  
  
"You're just like everyone else! I can't abort it, I'm not ready for that."  
  
"Well hun, it's either that or give birth to it. And if you do give birth to the baby, what next? Are you going to keep it? Or give it up for adoption? This is serious, so don't mess up."  
  
"Ok, I'll abort it. I don't want to regret giving birth."  
  
"You can also regret aborting it. This is your personal decision. So I won't stand in your way. And I have to go; Spinner and me have a date. So hopefully I won't be put in your situation."  
  
As Paige stood up to leave, Ellie laughed a fake laugh, "Thanks Paige."  
  
"Anything for a friend. Bye now."  
  
Ellie relaxed in the booth thinking of what to do about her problem.  
  
*~*  
  
Ellie sat in the waiting room of the hospital. A doctor called her in, "So Ms. Nash, what seems to be the problem?"  
  
"I want to have an abortion."  
  
"Oh wow. Very common at your age. So where is your parents? "  
  
"At home."  
  
"Anyone under 18 needs parental guidance before something like this is done. Talk this over with your parents and then I'll see what we can do."  
  
Ellie nodded and left the hospital. She saw Manny and her mother in the waiting room.  
  
Ellie headed towards them and grabbed Manny by the arm, "You didn't tell me that you're having Sean's baby also."  
  
"I didn't think it was any of your business."  
  
"So you're going to abort it?"  
  
"Yea, one baby is enough don't you think?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"So Nash, why are you here?"  
  
"I WAS planning to abort it, but I need a parent to accompany me since I'm underage."  
  
"Stupid isn't it." "Ms. Santos. I'm ready for you."  
  
Manny turned to the doctor and back to Ellie, "Looks like I got to go."  
  
"Good luck Manny."  
  
Ellie watched as Manny's mother was cursing under her breath while taking care of Manny's first-born baby. Ellie rolled her eyes and headed out of the hospital and to her home for some rest.  
  
~~~$~~~ So what'd you think? Review and tell. I'm trying to make thing story as real as possible. Enjoy! I'll try to keep updating the story as fast as the ideas come. I hope that all of you continue to review on my story! LiL SnoopY 


	12. Haunted

CH12  
  
Ellie reached her room and put her Evanescence CD in. She placed the song Haunted continuously while trying to get to sleep.  
  
Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
  
Still can't find what keeps me here When all this time I've been so hollow inside I know you're still there  
  
Watching me Wanting me I can feel you pull me down Fearing me Loving me  
  
Hunting you I can smell you - Alive Your heart pounding in my head  
  
Watching me Wanting me I can feel you pull me down Saving me Raping me Watching me.  
  
By the 6th time she heard the song, she was fast asleep in her bed at 6:30 pm.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ellie arose out of bed when her father violently shook her, "What is it dad?"  
  
"You said you wanted to go to the doctors, well get ready."  
  
"Why so early?"  
  
"They close after 4 pm pumpkin."  
  
Ellie got dressed into her normal skirt, and fishnet covered shirt, with the knee-high boots. She put her make-up on and followed her dad into the car.  
  
*~*  
  
"I went to the hospital yesterday."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I was going to try to get an abortion."  
  
He pulled the car over, "Eleanor, I love you with my whole world, but I can't deal with this all at one time. I want you to know that I don't approve with this pregnancy."  
  
"I know."  
  
"So, do you want the abortion? I kind of liked the idea of being a Grandfather, even at my age. I'm still pretty young."  
  
"And so am I. But, I've decided, and I'm not going to have it." She gave her dad a hug.  
  
"Just one question before we start driving again. Don't mind me asking, but, who is the father?"  
  
"I actually do mind you asking. I'll tell you some other time."  
  
"Alright."  
  
Mr. Nash drove back onto the road and continued their voyage to the hospital.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"Ms. Nash come, nice to see you again. Please come in here."  
  
Ellie sat down on that bed looking things in one of the rooms. She felt cold and scared, "So what are you going to do?"  
  
"Just going to examine you, just to make sure you're 100% pregnant. And you will be having these lately, these examines."  
  
"Oh joy."  
  
"You know, I had a patient about a year younger then you, she was pregnant. She was just the happiest when she found out, but sadly she had a miscarriage. That crushed her, but that took off some stress."  
  
"That's sad."  
  
"Yes, well let's get started......."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ellie stepped out of the room and walked to her father, "I will never do that again."  
  
He laughed and patted her on the back, "Get used to it, it will be going on for the next 9 months, and ya know what. It only gets worse. Trust me, you have the same feelings and expressions as your mother did when she was pregnant with you.  
  
Ellie smiled, "I never imagined what women go through when they get pregnant."  
  
From a distance, Ellie saw Manny getting out of the car with her mom. Ellie turned to her dad, "Can I take the bus home? I have someone to talk to, it's important."  
  
"Alright, I'll see you at home." He kissed Ellie on the forehead and let her go.  
  
Ellie quickly ran to Manny, "Manny, I've decided to keep the baby."  
  
"I'm happy for you." Manny gave Ellie a hug. "I decided that I want to keep mine, but my mom is like forcing me to do this."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be."  
  
"So Manny, are we friends?"  
  
"I've never hated you El. You just gave me a rough time ever since you found out about Craig and me. So let's say that was a bump in our friendship."  
  
Ellie gave Manny another hug, "I couldn't have gone through with all of this without you."  
  
"El, it's not over. Just stay strong. And if Sean doesn't come to see you while you're giving birth, then he's not for you."  
  
"Don't worry about that, I don't want Sean there seeing all what's going on in the first place."  
  
"Trust me. You do. Listen, I got to go, today is that day."  
  
"Hang in there."  
  
"I'll try." Manny wiped the small tears out of her eyes as she left Ellie.  
  
Ellie walked over and sat on the bench at the bus stop waiting for the bus. Craig plopped down beside her, "So Ellie, what's up?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"You look. bummed."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Ellie turned and faced Craig, "What do you want?"  
  
"I over heard Sean telling Ashley about you and Manny carrying his babies. Is that for real?"  
  
"Obviously Sean wishes." Ellie stood up and got on the bus. "Ouch." Craig said as he caught up with Spinner who was working at the Dot Grill. ~*~*~  
  
Ellie watched out the window as the scenes changed. She looked around the bus and saw Sean in the very back seat. Ellie slouched down some and turned her face to the window as much as she can, but not good enough.  
  
"Hey Ellie."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Trying to ignore me?"  
  
"Why would I want to do that?"  
  
"Let's not pretend nothing happened."  
  
"How come? It's easier to pretend nothing happened."  
  
Sean grabbed Ellie's shoulders, "Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't want me there while you're giving birth."  
  
Ellie had her relaxed, casual look on her face and stared into Sean's eyes, "I don't want you there while I'm giving birth."  
  
Sean turned the other direction and had a tear fall from his face, "Ok. Whatever."  
  
The bus came to a stop, and even though it wasn't Sean's stop, he couldn't stay on the bus any longer. He felt embarrassed letting Ellie see a soft side of him. Ellie put on a sad, yet 'whatever' look on her face and watched Sean as the bus go farther and farther away from him.  
  
~~~~~~~$~~~~~  
  
Hey guys, when the doctor was telling Ellie about a girl having a miscarriage, which was based on my friend. I wanted to include that in the chapter. Well I hope and want you guys to keep on reading and keep on reviewing. Laterz! LiL SnoopY 


	13. Everything is Everything

Hey guys! Thanks for the many review that I got! I hope that you like this chapter as much as you did with the other! R & R!

* * *

Ch.13  
  
At school the next day Ellie caught up with Manny who was sitting on the steps crying, "So how'd it go?"  
  
"Not so good. I mean I just decided to murder my future baby."  
  
"Well you kind of didn't have a choice."  
  
"El, I don't want you to feel the pain that I felt when your baby grows up not knowing who the father is. So, for the record, I think you should talk to Sean."  
  
Ellie found Sean by his locker, "Hey."  
  
"Hey El, what is it?"  
  
"I'm sorry about yesterday. And I want to tell you that I'm keeping the baby, our baby."  
  
At the sound of 'our baby' Sean smiled at her, "So do you still not want me there?"  
  
"Well... Just don't look."  
  
Sean and Ellie laughed together. Sean gave Ellie a hug, "You know El."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
Ellie looked at Sean in his eyes, "You love me?"  
  
"Yea." Sean laid a small kiss on her lips; "I'll see you later."  
  
It is lunchtime and Sean sat down beside Ellie, "Hey El, do you think that maybe when we get older, you might want to get married?"  
  
Ellie spit her drink out from the sound of the question, "oh my god Sean, are you being serious?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"We're barely out of school and you're thinking about marriage. But yea I think I do want too, I mean we already have a baby."  
  
Sean and Ellie's laughing moment was interrupted by Manny asking to sit down with them. Ellie nodded with a smile.  
  
Manny looked up at Ellie, "So is everything okay now?"  
  
Ellie kissed Sean on his cheek, "Everything can't be better then how they are right now."  
  
Sean gave Ellie a hug; "I'll see you later."  
  
Manny had a half smile n her face, "Wow El, you don't seem like yourself today. Do you... love Sean?"  
  
"Well, Sean is great. And before you came we were talking about marriage."  
  
"Wow, um can you excuse me."  
  
Manny walked over to where Craig sat and sat beside him, "Craig, I don't hate you."  
  
Craig's eyes grew wide at the sight of Manny, "that's great."  
  
"In fact I love you. Please, after school, can I meet you in your garage?"  
  
Craig looked at Ashley who was sitting on the next table over beside his staring at him with an evil glare, "Manny, I'm not sure that's a great idea."  
  
"Craig, please."  
  
"Fine whatever, just go away."  
  
Manny walked back to Ellie and Ellie was about to crack up, "wow Manny, that went horrible."  
  
"yea I know." They both started laughing of Manny's stupidity.

* * *

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